Monday, July 6, 2015

Notes from my 80th trip (Passagem do Mestre Irineu)

This sound extremely elementary, but is a writer's job to explain emotions. What it is to cry, to pain, to hurt and to Love. That is the task set upon a writer, and the path which you are on. 

I think people view me much differently than I actually am. If they knew the type of thoughts that run through my head all day they'd puke.

When you're young, you think the world is full of second chances. I guess I'm reaching th age where I feel like this is kinda it. 

I have to remember that I felt nearly dead 8 months ago. I'm not doing all that well, but it is a huge, major improvement. 

You can learn a lot by paying attention to how long it takes to acquire the different belts in Jiu-Jitsu.

The people you appreciate least are oddly the ones you miss the most in times of despair. 

All of this is to teach you humility. Not until you have truly learned it will you be able to move on.

My father's near-death experience has revealed many insecurities that I thought I did not have.

This time in Seattle has not been a waste of time. It is a lesson in the same story. Remember that. Always. 

I have a ridiculously good memory, and sometimes it sucks because I am haunted by memories I no longer want to remember. 

I think this time has been about unearthing a lot of deep-seeded addictions and addressing them properly. 

This has been a horrible year of my life. It was preceded by one of the best. It is a good example how much a fall from grace can hurt. 

Damn Grace. You just gave your heart to someone who hadn't grown up. I feel I'm still the same in a lot of ways. I wonder if w/ Flora, I was trying to be something I wasn't ready for. God knows I wanted to be.

That is it. This is training for you to become a man capable of loving someone responsibly.

Where it went wrong w/ Flora was when you started expecting her attention instead of being grateful for it. Granted, that's a tricky territory to manage, but I think that's part of what went wrong. 

It is when a Love can capture your existence up until that point you've been alive. That is what is so special about it. 

Police detectives responsible for turning people into snitches must have some crazy-ass psychology knowledge. I wonder what the educational requirements for that position is. 

Probably the only useful thing Jay-Z has ever said (at least for me) is that the success of his career was due to his ability to focus

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