Monday, December 14, 2015

Notes from my 100th trip (20th Anniversary work)

I still feel like half a person without Flora. I'm wandering around looking for the person who hurt me.

There is such thing as one person being able to be your entire universe. It exists. 

I don't have too many messages left. I hope you all have been listening. 

I am sincerely going to miss this practice.

Flora was the most colorful person I knew.

I miss her so much that it hurts. 

I've met many fine women, but none of them are Flora.

I don't know why I am fluent in Brazilian Portuguese. 

The king needs to emerge from your spirit. The king knows no anger, no jealousy, no sadness. He is firm in his mission to work!

I'm an investigative journalist which therefore makes me hard to date. I will go back on both our lives.

I am here to say now that I regret every mean thing that I ever said to my mother.

There is value in understanding how systems work and the experience of those who are operating it. Take a flight, for instance.

You can always fight the death sentence. 

The people who make Japanese Anime are geniuses.

Flora. If I never see you again, I need you to know that I Love You, I Love You, I Love You. I will always be here for whenever you need.

This is going to be my last note. I love you all. 

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Notes from my 99th trip (São Miguel)

I don't have many more tears to shed. I left most of them here on the island last time.

I'm lucky that I still have both my parents with me.

It is an unfortunate truth that the world does not value art.

The instructions from the other side are simple. Treat others with Love, compassion and respect. Be grateful for everything and everyone that got you where you are today. And be a hard worker. THats about everything. 

I miss you everyday, Flora

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Notes from my 98th trip (Concentration)

This is going to sound completely insane, but these notes are from the other side. I go there to retrieve them.

We have everything backwards. We idolize and worship the young when we should do that for the old. They are the ones on the way out. They are closer to God. 

Vice finally paid me. Those cheap bastards. I basically work for them for free. 

I asked this girl her age and she said, "A lady never tells and a gentleman never asks," in such the perfect way that it made me ashamed of my comportment. I still found out though. 

The most important thing I learned through this whole ordeal is to Love myself. And I couldn't have gotten here without my friends and family. I Love You, I Love You, I Love You. There is nothing I would not do for my friends and family.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Friday, December 4, 2015

Notes from my 95th trip (Feitio Day 4)

Whenever someone says, "Oh my relationship with so-and-so is like you and Flora's..." and when they proceed to tell me I so absolutely want them to shut the fuck up because they are off in at least 7 different ways. Look, whatever you think you know about me and Flora is 100% based on my recollection, and even that is only 50% of the whole story. 

Notes from my 96th trip (Feitio Day 5)

Happy Birthday, Flora.

The most annoying status update someone can post is, "The only constant in life is change." It's like the first time a person who doesn't think very deeply realizes there is truth in paradox.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Notes from my 94th trip (Feitio Day 3)

There are only 3 movies one needs to watch to understand the entirty of Love (well, actually 6, but the last 3 are one story):

1) "I Love You, Man"
2) "Crazy, Stupid, Love"
3) "The 'Before' Series. 
("Before Sunrise")
("Before Sunset")
("Before Midnight")

Flora always liked that I didn't kill the cockroaches in my apartment.

Being here has given me the courage to revisit the past.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Notes from my 93rd trip (Feitio Day 2)

Heartbreak actually hurts, like there is a swelling into your throad. It feels like heartburn and it stings in the center.

You can do this.

I plant flowers on the dead earth.

The best question to ask someone: "Tell me your story." 

My acupunturist told me that I was my mother's only friend.

There is no way that I will let my mom die scared. There is no way that I will let my mother's last feeling in this life be of fear. I will never leave her side before her final breath . I would die to protect my mother. 

My parents never planned for any of their marriage to turn out the way it did. It was an environment I was born into.

I had a dream that all the humans of the world disappeared and there were only Gargoyles. I remember being carried by Goliath and Demona, and I suddenly missed my family. When I woke to the sound of my father walking through the door, it was instant relief. I don't think I've hugged him that tightly since.

Look for a Psylocke action figure.

The entire time I dated Flora, she only sang to me once. It was "Withdraw" by Kimbra.

My mom would have loved to have Flora as a daughter-in-law.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Notes from my 92nd trip (Feitio Day 1)

The more I was myself, the more Flora fell in love with me. That's the thing that most people don't get when I say I still haven't gotten over Flora. She made me feel special. She made me feel like I mattered.

You know you're really good friends with someone when you both laugh at the same joke that neither of you had to say.

If I was to die right now, I think my last bit of advice that I have for the world is the following:

"Be nice to your parents. They may or may not put you through hell, but they gave you life. And learning how to appreciate that life is pretty much the purpose of it. 

The purpose in life is to appreciate being alive

One of my only regrets in life is not going out with Grace for New Years in Italy. We decided not to because our hotel was far from downtown and we wouldn't be able to get back until 4AM. We stayed in and I fell asleep before midnight. New Years was always Grace's favorite holiday and I ruined it. I know this might not mean a lot now but I'm sorry, Grace.

Scott. I need to write aout Scott. Hold me to it. Demand it.

I'm proud of you for making it here.