Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Notes from my 39th trip (Caboclo Guerreiro)

People should have higher standards to who they sleep with. The body is a temple. It should have adequate defenses to be passed in order to enter.

You will find me just constantly laughing, for no reason. Laughing. Cuz life is just one giant joke, and when we finally get it, we die.

We reach a point where things stop happening to us and instead we've learned how to give direction to the things we must learn to accept.

What a ridiculous person I am.

I think I've figured out what human trait bothers me the most: undisciplined arrogance.

At it's purest essence, all religions are a path to enlightenment. The problem is that human beings are corrupt.

I once told Flora that I needed to be away to protect her from something. I now see that that 'something' is me.

You know, as much as I despise "Landmark Education", I still recognize that it has genuinely helped some people through.

When I stop to think about it, Flora must live in such an insane world. Then she had to deal with ME. Haha. Jesus. The shit I must have put her through.

My friend Yoga is like this medicine that I need, but never want to take.

I see now that my father protects my art.

All my parents are asking is that I show a little more interest in their lives. That I care about them more.

Sometimes I feel that all writing is, is sharpening your tools so someone can receive your message.

If I'm to be honest, I feel a little lost w/o Flora.

I put my first girlfriend through so much shit. 
Good God, what a train-wreck that one was.

Jenna Jameson must live in a fucked up world, inside that head of hers.

Ogum, Mamae Jurema, Oxúmaré, Rainha da Floresta, Oxala


Writing is a destructive art, and what it leaves in its destruction, it creates a bridge.

If I ever kill myself, it will be "Hara-Kiri" style.

When you think about it, killing yourself is to bestow the role of liberator upon yourself. 

Marcella. You really do deserve someone amazing in your life. And that person isn't me.

My friend Hugo and his girlfriend look perfect together. If someone asked me, "What kind of woman would Hugo be with?" She's the one I'd imagine. It's as if they plucked themselves out from my imagination.

Marijuana is a sacred plant, but when you abuse it by overuse, it is like you are taking a piss on that sacred territory.

Flora, I hope you can meet me on the other side of all of this.

We often read a book at the wrong time.

Every time you call Him, God gives you a blank notebook to write in.

I try to have enough room for my friends ( the world, really ), but I'd be lying if I said some of them never got too close to the line where I considered ending the friendship. Giving up, essentially.

File cabinets. Our minds need file cabinets.

Now is the time 

I once played an April Fool's joke on Flora that I didn't get my tourist visa back to Brazil. She played it right back by hanging up and ignoring 4 of my calls. She's a quick one, she is.

When I die, people will miss me. That's a nice thing to have.

It's ironic. All I want is a simple life, but here I am living all this crazy fucked up shit.

My entire way of being started in the boxing gym.

I tried to join the Marines when I was 16, through the INTERNET. I then received a very excited yet apologetic email saying I could not enroll until I was 17. Shame on you US government. You know better than that.

I feel like in many parts of the world, the role of teacher is revered in some sense of holiness and treated as such. Except in the US and other Western Powers. They seem to be blind to something.

Sex and death are close relatives.

When you truly believe that everything will work out, time no longer remains an issue.

It has to be her choice. It is always HER choice.

All these companies: Apple, Microsoft, Google, they are essentially selling their services as a master path to be guided on.

I would get back w/ Flora if given the chance. But she has to stop treating me like shit. Cuz that's what she was treating me like. At the same time, I let her. And that was the problem. I presented myself as such, and the fitting treatment was bestowed.

Everyone, everyone has a belief on how life should be lived. Being in a relationship is about stripping the other person down until the reveal it. Then it's about deciding if you are in accordance w/ it.

Both me and my photography student lack drive + discipline. He's 12, so he's excused. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Flora taught me how to value my own life.

I know I wrote all this pretty stuff about letting Flora go, but fuck all that. I ain't giving up that easily.

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