Thursday, May 1, 2014

Notes from my 27th trip

If you were to ask me why I went through all those boxing gyms back then, I don't know what I would tell you. There was just always something there, a guidance to refuge, might be the way I'd put it. 

Writing isn't just about communicating ideas. 
You are trying to explain to someone else your reality. 

All of the things you do now are pretty much what determines whether your future self will be grateful or spiteful when thinking of the past.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting for Flora to get older. God. I can't believe I've reached a point where I understand why people say that.

All the things we feel, all the things we go through, are just so you can help someone relate, somewhere down the road.

Writing, real writing, I mean after you get past all that egotistical bullshit, is all about sharing the messages you have unearthed.

I can feel myself getting older in the diminishing tolerance I have for people.

I just found out Flora studied theatre acting for like 5 or 6 years (fuck, I don't even know how her age makes any sense). Hmmm....that's something to think about. 

I think what I like about his relationship is that she has thrown me so many fucking boulders and snares, but gives me just enough loving compassion for me to believe that I can make it.

Those people who have never spent an entire day curled in fetal position under the covers grasping their chest screaming the unanswerable plea of "why?" because they just did something that they knew contributed to that ever-snaking chain of self-destruction but did it anyway b/c it was the only place to turn. People who don't know that place, fuck them.

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