Thursday, April 23, 2015

Notes from my 74th trip (Trabalho com Padrinho Alfredo)

People who are made for the sake of being an "edgy" journalist are annoying.

We are all the same person at our core.

I think I've accepted the notion that I'll never have it all "figured out". No one should really. That's actually really arrogant to think you have life figured out. 

I don't know why you showed up in my life QueridO, but I'm glad you did.

The friends you find on the highway of life are to be treasured

Michael and I grew out of a strange time of both our lives. 

So sometimes I make up conversations in my head before they happen: Here's one w/ the cute girl at the cafe I accidentally asked out (We haven't gone on a date yet).

Me: Can I tell you, you remind me of someone really special.

Her: Really? Do you mind if I ask whom? (Only cuz I imagine her to be polite, not like in a permission seeking type, but polite in just the right way.)

Me: The person I miss most in my life. I may see her soon, and I am worried my heart is not strong enough.

You can fit the entire world in your heart, if you want it to, it will fit.

I quickly realized that the person I am battling is myself. Well, not quickly at all, it actually took me to a long fucking time, but that is what I am up against. 

When you ask someone if it is okay to shit in their toilet, that person should know you are w/ the emotion of having to shit and still remember your manners to ask.

Whenever a writer starts writing for money, for whatever sells, that writer has forgotten why they started in the first place.

I understand it now. This whole ordeal has been to find a way to forgive Flora.

Heartbreak is real. Emotions are real. Feelings are real. Anyone who says differently, FUCK THEM. And an even bigger FUCK YOU! to those who don't know to respect them.

As a writer, you decide what goes and what stays. Remember that responsibility.

I wrote a friend who is going through tough times, "Don't ever let a person or a circumstance tell you to give up." I cried when I wrote that out. I hope she knows how helpful it was for me to be in the privileged position of helping a friend. 

I was reborn in Hawaii. 
Hotel Honoka'a motherfuckers! 

You can travel the world w/in your own mind. 

What is the strangest thing you have ever Googled

I hold onto the worlds Flora said to me, hoping she meant them at the time.

Desirée taught me that I am soon ready to be married. 

Sometimes I think a writer is just curious as to how smart their audience is. 

I can say this heartbreak is a defining moment in my life.

Being a journalist is one of the coolest jobs ever. It's also the shittest. I guess that's the trade off for using your life to write stories. 

You will always have a piece of my heart Desirée.

When I see kids doing fucked up shit, I just think to myself, "I hope he/she doesn't die from that. There is so much life to live after that." 

When you write, it is important to pay attention to the words, particularly in the middle. They have to carry enough weight to the end of the sentence. 

I spend most of my waking life alone. If people knew the crazy shit that goes thru my head, they wouldn't think I was that cool.

When I used to train iajutsu, they started me off w/ a wooden sword. One time an instructor let me use his sword and it was then I realized, "You could literally kill yourself w/ this thing." 

Money isn't the issue. Don't say things you don't mean. That's what matters. 

Thank you for caring about me, A*****.

Something is definitely being put to rest, here in Hawaii.

I went to the store to buy some Q-tips and the employee offered to give me hers in her car when we found out they were sold out. "To be w/o Q-tips, that's the pits," she said to me. I don't think there is a better way to express that sentiment. 

Shit is just going to happen, that's a given. But we are always of the choice in how to react. 

It is a choice to be strong. You can will it into a manifestation. I believe in that more than anything.

Death can be a cleansing process.

A******, you are a welcomed presence in my home. 

People probably don't know this about me, but I buy the same pair of $20 jeans at JC Penny's every year.

All the successful companies probably know a lot about human emotions.

I'm proud to rep Fightland. Til the end baby. 

When you write the first words in a title, you sometimes want to immediately punch yourself in the face. But it's part of the process. 

I have a friend that I don't really like. 
When someone asks why, I always ask myself, "Where do I start?"

Whenever you ask someone what they're "about", the puzzled look on their face is always amusing. 

When I started traveling and boxing, I didn't do it because I thought it'd be some cool shit to write about. I did it because the boxing gym is one of the only places where I remember who I am. 

Whenever you read a book that makes you jealous that you didn't think of it first, or they make you analyze your laziness. That is a good writer

The wounded person laid in bed crying all day. You are no longer that person. 

Marcella, if you and I ever got married, we'd probably kill each other.

When Flora asked me to marry her, there was not even a smidgen of consideration, just a reaction. That should tell you something.

Santo Daime taught me how to take care of myself.

I am afraid of what I am to learn this next time out in Brazil.

When I first heard the sentence, "If everyone traveled, there would be no more wars," I agreed w/ it. Now w/ age I think that is a very short-sighted dumbshit thing to say, about people and about wars. 

I've seen plenty of examples where traveling has ruined someone's life, particularly in the form of cocaine and prostitution.

In business, there's always a small part of you that feels bad when someone gives in to your negotiation, almost as if it was a reminder of the frailty of being human. I think the key to being successful in business is to learn how to master that feeling.

I remember one time at a Spanish conversation meet-up, this guy was noticeably jealous of his girlfriend showing interest in me, even though on paper he was far superior to me. I just thought to myself when I noticed the look in his eyes, "Well, you shouldn't have asked what I did." 

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