Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Notes from my 6th trip

You know, sometimes that crimson sky pulls across the byline of life far sooner than we had hoped; either way, it comes and we have what house + family we have at the moment to stand for.

I think I may have overexerted myself this time around.

Please know that I have no control of the pen. It completely possesses me at its will

I've yet to find the value my writing brings.

The days before the ceremony, 
you are preparing the home for a guest. The spirit.

What happens when God stops talking to you? How does it feel? What does the world sound like?

For those that have fathers in your life, 
there are beautiful moments that can be shared.

Rudolph - my brother. I now see why you are in my life. Thank you for teaching me those lessons. Know that I admire your strength.

The best fighters get knocked down V, but you're still in the fight. Remember that.

Desireé, I think I am meant to watch your back as you navigate through that treacherous terrain. How you do it, the bravery, still astounds me.

Our feet stomp to the same rhythm, me and her...

I see something in your gaze, an unfinished message to the sea. I wonder if you can teach me to swim far enough to retrieve it.

The permission to write. What a gift, what a true blessing!

Know this now, flowers will pave the right path.

You were meant to be a fighter, not a boxer.

                           Her name is Flora, in case you were wondering.

Desireé, you were the last one to see me with long hair; you were the one that helped take my hair. I hope you know what that act bestows upon you.

The wind blows like sea channels on the backs of rigid mountains. It brings a comforting reminder of loneliness.

Watching Japanese anime has kinda fucked with my visions. I mean those mofos are crazy.

I think the worst thing about the Trayvon Martin case is that his soul has not been allowed to rest. It has been carried through all of this: the joy, the grief, the heartbreak + the anger. It is being torn apart in so many different directions. For god's sake, let him rest.

Marcella - I hope you know the answer lies within you and that it is a journey to be taken alone. Just know, what you have at the center of your heart is sacred. It is beautiful and strong, like the maims of wild stallions. Don't let the undeserving pass through, because there are many out there after you.

Every waking moment is for training. Every dreaming one too.

I have no idea if other people view me as crazy. I only know the last version of who I was, and that guy was pretty decent.

I wish I could produce something worth reading but right now, these things are lost between the verses. The book will just be a map. That's all. With treasure buried somewhere.

              Aggressive energy from the tiger repels me for the moment.

This is my mission to be here - that is the only thing to keep in mind when staying with me. Plan the rain, the clouds, the gray sunshine. Plan for life.

We are often scared to be alive.

Know the process in which to produce these notes that you are reading come by sacrifice.

I feel like assuming a fraudulent role to the world is not only a disgrace to god, 
but a disgrace to yourself.

Do you really feel like you deserve this? 
(This is not for me, this is for others.

Fuck- that was a long trip on the other side. I was possessed a few times. I felt like a chained demon strapped to a chair. Smiling. That smile. Good god, that smile is going to burn war paint into my dreams. They fooled me. I didn't think that I would be called to fight today, but I fought well, and survived. I put in the required training.

I saw that every moment of our lives hold meaning and the reason we feel despair in life is because we lose sight of that.

So much of my times goes into thinking about what it is like to dance with you.

Tonight, the demon tried to win, but I still hold the composer's hand.

Life from here on out just seems to happen. That's kind of the sum of it all.

I know it wasn't too funny this time around, but lately I have not felt very comical.

This one took something out of me. I can feel it.

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