Thursday, July 4, 2013

Notes from my 5th trip

I think the solution to the problems of many is sincerely asking oneself, "am I happy?"

Somewhere along that journey you need to accept that it is okay to have a decent life, that you are deserving.

I am getting better at filtering the difference 
between what must be written 
and what is chatter

As Bukowski said, "Always bet against the direction the public goes."

I think I am embarking on what will be a modest writing career; never reaching the pinnacle of fame, but fascinating for those willing to dig.

For those of you that have come with me thus far, thank you. 

The sooner you accept that the road will be paved with emotions, and not simply happiness, the better. 

One favor you can do for us writers is to know that sometimes it hurts to write.

Sometimes I can see it now, when I look in the mirror, the sadness in my face.


From a young age, I've always believed in ghosts.

Desireé, the night you told me you loved me was one of the most honest moment I've had in my life. Every moment we shared was honest, really. 

                     Then there was that whole confusion of the anal sex. That was funny to me in case you never knew

I'm still holding onto it, no matter how much I tell myself otherwise.

This is the foolishness of humanity: we think the wind is a coincidence.

Everyone has an interesting life, it's all about whether or not you can find the story.

Every poem a poet writes is a call to their tribe.

I guess I'm kinda this corny dude that falls in love with sappy stories

The favelas, the traffickers, the police, the deaths, it's all just in the story. Rio has the narrative of the world if one looks hard enough. 

I am not so much brave, just oblivious to much of how my actions are perceived

Fuck the odds, it's all about whether you were called for it.

Don't regret your decisions, you chose them for a reason.
At one time, it made all the sense in the wolrd.

You know, I probably have a vocabulary of like 200 words, but it's about the different puzzles you can make, not the number of pieces.

Taking ventures outside the neighborhood is important for a child

                        Prepare for the Spectacle

                               There is a difference between negative and bitter.

The crooked coyote joker yelling into the sounds of wind.

Wind only fans the flames.

Marcella, I just saw our new business. It has something to do with a fucked-up looking iguana pulled across multiple dimensions. The most important detail is that it will have your eyes. Wild eyes.

                   Your slow motion stride is really fucking with me.

Gold embroidered angels dancing on the Christmas tree. Everyone tries at this time of year.

I want to have a shirt that says 'Christmas shouldn't be the only time you're happy'.

FUCK ALL OF YOU that just thought that was some kind of Neo-colonist legacy of patriarchy. your type think too goddamn much.

I am always looking for paintings that match my visions

The queen is the baddest piece on the board.

Follow your queen, George

                                      Stop trying so hard Neil.

Words I have for the world. by Nick Wong

That title HAS to already been taken.

Maybe even by another Nick Wong

Your mother loves you

red orange room filled with tiger stripes

Sometimes I really remember the most nonsensical bullshit that you are now forced to read. HA! I will piss on my own ashes if I'm ever being read as freshmen high school mandatory reading.

To all the beautiful women I've ever known in my life, I remember you all, and you all had a unique space, despite this generic message I am writing now.

That's the thing I see now, I would follow her.

Nobody will judge your struggle.

One of them looks like a dinosaur, the other one this giant baby ostrich.

           Tap into your animal spirit

Actually, there is art to being a scavenger, perhaps even something noble.

The Asians need to stop being together. We're confirming their conspiracy theory.

We can always choose to walk away as a satisfied customer, as long as we realize that sometimes what we were truly shopping for was never on the list.

There are many doors that will lead to empty hallways

The gym is like the church cuz they take in anyone.

True gyms and true churches at least.

Desireé, remember that time we went to the ballet, you in your red dress, me in my black coattails, and when that couple came up and told us we looked decadent? Well, we were dazzling the stars that evening.

Now the real work begins

The words are lost like scattered bones in the desert, 
like forks dumped down the wrong metal chute, 
like a misstep from a seasoned warrior. 
This is a poem lost, 
still searching 4 its ocean.

That's the important of an editor that won't be too soft with you. Even in the rough patches, they'll hold you together.

                        You're more of a wolf than a lion.

you were a lioness with a wolf, Desireé. I see it now. I'm a wolf who needs someone to make him see his own worth. You, Desireé, I'm not even sure, but you could rule kingdoms.

                               Purple Crescent moons.

she might be more of a wolf than you are.

                        This feels like my brain is on fire.

Dancing letters, that's all graffiti is.

I think all that I have felt this week is cause of my fatigue. I see now, that it is a battle I lost.

                 I got some ill-ass designs for 50 cent, the problem is that he doesn't know who the fuck I am.

I hung a pair of gloves around my rearview mirror ever since I met him.
(Boxing as Everything)

I suddenly miss home.

Don't lock yourselves in that prism of the mind

Where did you learn how to tie a knot?

Judging others makes us deaf

you've always had a talent for art and an eye for the truth. Don't waste it.

Lemonaid Blindness
Scales of legions
Hymns of the barefoot
Wander. Wander on

When will we understand that none of this belongs to us?

My favorite restaurant in Rio just received 73 health code violations this past week.
Any fewer would had been a disappointment.

Think about why irritating people are sent into your lives.

Sometimes I feel like we are waiting for that letter we wrote to ourselves in grade school but never sent

You are a dreamer and god is in the stars.

What is it like to be on this earth for nearly 30 years? Maybe a multicolored perch with cricket heads as the main course.

                   Mel Gibson's problem was that he kept trying to recreate Braveheart

Our story is not yet done, Desireé, but we are nearing the final chapter.

Find the origin of your name. Your true name.

It is our dreams that the line is open.

Save that house. That's the project.

The brevity of my life is jagged geometric patterns inside a multicolored tatami room.

It's funny the world confuses Japanese + Chinese. At one point, we really hated each other. Maybe there is something worth remembering in how the world views us as of the same blood.

which road calls you, neil?

Josh my brother, we are meant to see each other further down the road, so our families can meet.

                          There is still something noble in the bandit's howl.

I have been sent all these people that I just cannot be angry with. A true blessing.

It makes me sad to dwell in the moments of my father's weakness.

Because I am your mother, because I am your father. These are words that no longer hold meaning in our generation.

                                Stuart, these times are going into the history books my friend.

You're more of a wolf than a lion

The questions I want to ask you are endless: What makes you sad? What makes you joy? Where does the power your hold in your light waltz come from? How did you choose this path? What is it that calls you? Has your heart ever broken? Where do you see yourself in five years time? What kind of candy tickles your sweet tooth? Does God ever sing to you when you sleep? What is your favorite eye color? Do you see it in mine? What smell drives you wild with passion? What is your favorite flower?

I've had a pretty awesome life so far. The next step is sharing.

                      Not even the brightest future can extinguish my memory of you, Desireé.

The mere footsteps of a master draws stabs into my heartbeat.

Sometimes I wonder if Bukowski would have traded all those fit, beautiful 20 year olds for just one lumpy hag of a wife that truly loved him.

'Have it your way' is the greatest example of false advertising on this planet.

Favorite movies:

Before Sunrise
Before Sunset
Before Midnight (coming soon)
Donnie Darko.

Don't try to edit these messages. Just take them as they are.

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