Sunday, December 29, 2013

Notes from my 21st trip

Living a life that's a lie. I have no idea what that feels like.

Sometimes we should give into impulse, because maybe it's not emotional, maybe it's the one time something was brave enough to break thru, even if only for a short while.

It really doesn't matter what kind of work you do, just whatever you choose, take it seriously. Show it respect.

I'm wrong about people, all the time, but if I don't like you, for a prolonged period, there's a reason. And it's not personal, I'm not that petty, at the end of the day.

A photographer is responsible for catching those moment, and the entire time, you're trying to control the light. Think about that. A photographer is a master of light.

We write out own fate, and the entire storyline is dependent on how we treat other people along the way.

Usually the things that we feel uncomfortable doing, 

are the things we're most proud of.

I just love the fact that there is this slightly obese woman sitting across from me w/ a T-shirt w/ the words "New York City" embroidered in gold letters. 

Everyone in my life makes sense now. They were all part of the departure, wishing me a safe journey.

Fighting is a strange space to experience. It is a place where the ego does not exist.

If someone were to ask me what my relationship w/ Flora is like I would say that it is like we are constantly trading, and it is always fair.

H'rina, I would say that you're like my twin sister. Artemis and Apollo.

It was really an honor to meet Loïc Wacquant. I would say of all his accomplishments, he is a fighter at the heart of it all.

You know why I loved you Desireé? It's because you're one of the most honest people I know.

Temptation is a really pretty bridge to look at, but it should never be crossed.

Respect comes before love.

Regardless of whether or not I liked my Fulbright cohort, I respected them all.

A gentleman always redeems himself.

Dismantling a pen is much like dismantling a gun. Now I understand how people can be so obsessive w/ cleaning their rifle. It is an act of care, to clean something or someone, and you're caring for its life, because it has probably saved yours, in all sense of the phrase.

True storytelling happens when all motivation of the ego disappear. Now you begin the work, the act of telling a story.

I've been learning how to draw and sheath a sword of the past couple of months. It's strangely similar to wielding a pen.

I love my samurai sword class. It's the only place you can yell in Japanese while swinging a 2ft sword. That shit is great.

Don't ever fuck w/ a wolf. They're always in training.

I'm really excited for the person you become, Flora. I'm along for the ride as long as you let me stay on.

First you have to decide if you trust your coach. After that's settled, you do everything that person says, no questions.

Sometimes it's good to hear anew, a joke that you once received before.

You should go thru your past work, see the person you once were, and ask yourself if you are paying it the proper respects.

My return to Seattle feels more like a task than a trip. But I realize, it is a journey to give thanks, to all those who saved my life.

Confronting someone to their face w/ the truth is like moving a critical chess piece next to an enemy pawn. It's like you're saying to them, "I am so close to you, but you cannot do anything. I am not afraid of you."

Yo, I almost died in Brazil. Twice. In the same day. That's some crazy shit when I think about it. But it's like my boy George said, "It wasn't a good trip unless you almost died." 

If I lose Flora, I will become reckless w/ my life. I can feel it. At least w/ where I'm at with it, at the moment.

Rabble rousers, the ones that know how to deliver speeches, you gotta watch those ones closely.

A truly good show will lead you along the way logically, then flash a question in your mind that is: "Wait, what's going on now?"

Now I understand why some people in my life wanted me to stay, even if they never said it.

When you are on the receiving end of a benefit from something you know is unfair, it doesn't seem so unfair now, does it?

I am training all the time we are apart, Flora, preparing for the moments we share together.

Right or wrong, Mikey always got your back, like a true friend does.

The way I feel when I miss Flora can be summed up like this: It is like the longing a wolf has for the return of the moon.

I'm sorry Marcella, but "Another Earth" was a really shitty movie. I had to stop it in the middle, and I eat a lot of shit.

Of course I'd be covered in tattoos. I'm exactly like that type of guy.

It's funny how I go to my 15 yr old cousin, for writing advice.

It's the humanity, that you're trying to touch. That is all art is about.

When you are writing a story about someone, they become part of your life.

It is when a man falls in the arms of his woman, because that is the safest place in the world.

I've tried temptation before. It doesn't taste all that good.

It's when the old man picks himself up from the nap and says to his legs, "C'mon motherfuckers, you still got some life to spend." 

You are a really classy white woman, Desireé. The exact opposite of what I am, at least image wise. Maybe it wasn't meant to be forever, but I did need to know what it was like to love someone like that.

I think Flora expected something like "Eagle" or Falcon" when she asked of my favorite bird. I'll never forget the look on her face when I said, "Pigeon".

Now I understand why I always choose to fight as the tough warrior girl in those arcade games. It's that type of person I'm looking to marry.

Sometimes you're caught between two separate set of rules, and it's then you don't know the difference between right and wrong.

Sandra, you're willing to trade blows w/ me. I respect that.

Thank you, Flora, for protecting my feelings.

That's the thing about people who don't understand serious, loving relationships. It isn't that your days of adventuring are over, on the contrary: you are about to go on the greatest adventure of your life.

When Desireé told me she loved me, I told her that I was moving to Brazil. I don't think I could have chosen a worse moment.

People come and go throughout your life. It's the ones you hold onto, that matter.

Teachers who know they want to be teachers, not because everything else was "too hard", are my heroes. They have assumed the responsibility of the hardest job in the world.

Forgive me at times, Flora. I am still very much a child.

Think it's about time I accept my parent's Facebook friend request.

It is apparent to me that you have arrive to that unfortunate place where you value people as assets to your company, rather than human beings. I feel very, very sorry for you.

Flora isn't scared of many things. I like that about her.

This is going to sound bad, but I really started writing by trying to pick up girls in AOL Chatrooms. A/S/L?

You know the difference between me + you? I know what the devil looks like. You? You're still a coward. 

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