Sunday, March 15, 2015

Notes from my 71st trip (Concentration)

It is difficult to heal from a wound because some part of you identifies with being continually hurt. It's almost as if you don't want to say goodbye to the pain.

You are too attached to planned routes.

You need to stop spending your days like they are loose change at the bottom of your pocket b/c they will run out one day.

This entire time in Seattle was/is about bringing back from Brazil what needed to be killed, resurrected and transformed.

You need to return to Brazil, but not for Flora, not even for yourself. It is for your mission.

It is when you confront something so frightening that you question if your faith, if everything you've ever believed in, is enough to carry you through. these are the moments that test your faith

Flora once brought me to her grandmother's house by motorcycle. That is why I loved that girl.

A lot of the time I wonder how pornstars handle their own lives. 
It's such a crazy, fucked-up spectacle. 

Being a writer and being a fighter are so similar that it's down-right fucking creepy.

This pain. We are meant to receive pain. Our challenge is how we transform it.

It's not really so much that Brazilians are impolite, it's more like that elderly grandmother on the subway would rather stand cuz she's that fucking tough.

I think one thing I always found a bit odd about Desirée is that she liked black licorice. Like we pulled into a gas station and with all her free will she bought a box of 'Good-n-Plenty'. 

Understand that when you fight someone, you are testing their definition of what it means to be a man.

I'm beginning to feel like I write more about fighting than I actually fight.

You need to stop trying to predict what it's going to be like going back to Brazil.

This time in Seattle has been incredibly fucking horrible. Part of me really died here. But I did always have someone there when I really needed it. I guess you could say that I really came to understand what suffering is. I thank every single one of you for being at your post when I needed you. Know that you can always count on me to return the favor.

I am so fucking sick of these YouTube videos showing how crappy people are when they eat, then show them giving a pizza or some burgers to a homeless man and him sharing it afterwards, ending on a quote like, "Those who have LESS give MORE". I mean yes, good message that needs to be spread, but there begins a point where it is painfully obvious you are really trying to market your brand or have people think you're a "good person" as opposed to staying true to the original principle. 

You really learn how to distinguish people when you realize that when you argue w/ them, you are able to determine whether it is constructive or just annoying.

The path has already been made. You just need to walk it.

This entire episode in Seattle has been Me testing your faith. 

God appears through the smallest cracks.

I was placed in the row of misfits today, and when I told the guy next to me about it, he said, "It's where I always fit anyways." 

"I guess life is about punishment." 

It is truly a compliment when you occupy the thoughts of a beloved.

It is important to have a place you can always return to and remember who you are.

It is when there is no other escape, where sleep does not offer any more refuge, is when you fight. You live or you die.

It's when you turn the next page and it's blank. Like WTF?

What picture are you going to paint with your life?

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