Notes from my 9th trip

Bring the fucking Darkness.

         The rain is there to teach us.

Just so you all know, everything I write about, even the writing itself, none of it is for entertainment. I am not entertained by it. It is done because it must be done. 

I saw a blue fire in your eyes the other night, Desireé, one that I've never seen before. There is something particularly powerful about that flame

Sometimes I worry that I am meant to wander for the remaining time in this life.

Jealousy is a cowardly emotion.

Forget your talents, forget your intellect. Forget your accomplishments.
What are you like as a human being?

It's really too bad that the public isn't drawn to ordinary triumph.

Everything off the path of faith will end up biting you in the ass.

Sometimes I just need to hear a story about someone making it through. 

Sometimes all we need are stories.

Salve, alvorada











Can I tell you an honest secret? Would it be strange if I told you that I am afraid to hear you sing? That I am scared the melody of your voice will carry me to  place that I will never want to leave, where all remembrance of the material world vanishes and all that matters in this life is the angelic harmony of your presence. Would it be foolish to say that I a fear becoming lost in the eyes of your song, that the sweet lullaby will slay all the fear I have been living on until now. Would this be too much to confide? I once said that I am training to protect this home of peace. I once said that all your pain may come hit you at once. I think I am training for this: To hear you sing.

Now I understand why we are so afraid to confront ourselves.

Don't you see that when I lend you $, it is an opportunity to build your character, a chance to tell the world that you are more than what they gave you? Why do you think I never ask for the money back?

Am I disturbing your spiritual experience? 

I am your spiritual experience, motherfucker. 

Don't you see? I learn how to fight to stop me from killing the world.

You may hate me at times, but trust me, you want me on your side

If I had to describe my experience in Brazil, it would be akin to learning how to ride a horse.

There is already so much out there trying to separate us from our instincts. Don't give in + numb yourself from your gut. Your suicide is their ultimate goal.