Notes from my 48th trip (Concentração)

Like I had to shit in a bag for the past three days. Then John came over to look @ the toilet, and then a new toilet just appeared after I got back from Jiu-Jitsu for the first time in 2 months. Like what the fuck?

You know you found someone special when you feel like they are a medium for God to you as you are for her.

Relationships are such a subjective term.

Fox News is such a necessary evil in this world. God bless those confused bastards.

True love is dangerous territory. Like to really, I mean really, believe you are safe w/ someone, then finding out to be untrue. That hurts. A lot.



The above comment has nothing to do w/ Flora btw. I just understand.

My friend H'rina google imaged the term "Big fucking banana" thinking she would find big, fucking bananas. What a surprise she was in for.

Don't ask me about the kind of porn I used to be into.

Once someone enters my life, I'm pretty much a friend. You'd have to be a pretty giant asshole for me to really dislike you.

People cut themselves out of my life more than the other way around.

Everyone is looking for a formula to true love. As if it is some mathematical equation + we just need to find the numbers and add them together. Like it is something mechanical. The truth is, true love is found only in your own way. How well you can navigate that road depends on your training.

The fucked up secret to rules is that you finally learn there are no rules. Or are there?

You know, there were some close called between Flora + I, in both senses of the phrase. But when it comes down to it, I am her partner. I cannot abandon her.

Like dead hooker porn. I would probably look at pictures of that, if they were shown to me.

My intention as an artist is to capture the funny moments.

There is something about Mike Tyson that I trust. Basically, I trust him more than Nicholas Kristof.

I'm quick to call someone a false prophet. At the same time, I've been given the gift of detecting that easily.

Kaia really liked you. And you were selfish in the way you treated her.

You know you talk too much when you lose the meaning in your words.

I'll say this right now. I would never have been able to get this far w/o my father.

Fuck Flora is so right about me. I need to straight my shit out before I step to her again.

The memories always come after you gave it away.

If someone repeated a story to you, it is often b/c you needed to hear it again.

Games where I'm supposed to think up as many words as possible that begin w/ a certain prefix frustrate the shit out of me. Because it just reminds me of my limited vocabulary. And I'm a fucking writer.

When you step back and look at it, Floyd Mayweather Jr. is a ridiculous human being.

You know what it is? I need to clean up the mistakes I committed to the women of my past.

There is a darkside to Flora that I am interested in knowing.

Our neighbor hit on my mom once. And my dad punched him in the face. Haha. Go Dad. (The funniest part is my dad called the police like right after it happened and felt really bad. Ah. When all said + done, my pops is a good man. Not everyone can say they had a good farther growing up.

Most of what I say is true. But you can't force ppl to listen.

I know this is not the type that you're hoping for, but I love you so much, Marcella.

The key to being an artist is distinguishing what comes from you and what comes God.

Perng did some fucked up shit to me, but I also know that I was the cause of it all.

I grow tired of people calling me a con-man.

I pay for the value of things.

I will never abandon you, Flora. Do you understand? Never.

Notes from my 47th trip (Ritual Shipibo)

I find it interesting that the preparation for a spiritual cleansing is almost exactly the same as a prizefight.

In order to be a good translator, one must know the many different ways the same word can be used.

Be grateful for the things we take for granted.

What becomes your standards of life all depends on how you train yourself.

At times, Flora is as immature as a child. Other times, she shows me my childishness. What a fabulous love we share.











Don't cheat and don't make someone else into a cheater. That's basically my M.O. in dealing romantically w/ the opposite sex.

It is important to know where you are.

Being dedicated to your work is the key to life.

You know, there always reaches a point where you can't stand the person you are dating. You reach a realization that you either leave it, or try to work through it. At least in the case of true love, leaving it is a familiar path w/ a known destination. It comes down to whether you are willing to cooperate w/ the world or force it to work only to your standards. And that boiled down to how selfish or selfless you are.

I don't think I'd call myself strong, but I am confident in my ability to adapt.

You know, sometimes in a relationship, the other person passes through a time where they can't give a lot. The duty is to give when they can only receive.

Flora showed up to my apartment in turquoise spandex and a pink shirt. Yeah. This is who I tried to marry.

You know, the world functions on give and take, and most of the time, the receiving does not come from the same person you gave. I just assume the balance is even, rather than trying to keep count.

Notes from my 46th trip (Chave do São Pedro)

You should never want anything from the presents you give others. Well...maybe their happiness, but that's it.

There is a code to being a guest in someone else's home.

I think my problem w/ romantic relationships is that I do not think about the impact an intense interaction has on the other person.

If we dig deep enough, we can always find something bad to say about anyone. But Why? (I guess if they're doing some heinous shit then yeah, but for the sake of gossip, to make our lives more entertaining, why?)

One time I gave Flora an ultimatum and in the middle of her telling me that she doesn't deal well w/ ultimatums, like they make her run away, I had to ask her to translate "ultimatum" from Portguese. I know we both found it funny, despite the seriousness of the conversation.

There is certainly a lot of comedy in my relationship with Flora.

When you step back and look @ it, people who take themselves really seriously are kinda funny.

Someone asked me today, out of all the countries I've been to, which one has the best people. Truth is, there are beautiful people in every part of the world, but I guess I'd also say, Brazil taught me how to recognize it.

Notes from my 45th trip (Ceu do Montanha)

When you want someone to go through something horrible only because they put you through the same thing, just so they can feel what you feel, take a good look at yourself in the mirror, when you feel this.

I am learning how to forgive.

It is important not to be easily offended but also stand up when things are being unnecessarily attacked.

I am like a much happier person than I used to be.

Love is not a fight, but there are a series of tests, where you asked to change some things about yourself. And that is sometimes a struggle.

Love is free to some degree, but it doesn't always stay if you are not responsible.

I've made a lot of mistakes w/ Flora, and I'm seeing that now. I realize this entire time apart, this whole thing, is about making up for my errors and presenting a better self when the time is right. And I think (hope) she's doing the same.